Today I am feeling optimistic and settled. This morning, over breakfast, I was thinking about the need to balance my work, my love life, home life and the development of my cookbook. All are important to me and all deserve my attention, patience and devotion. I have to admit to feelings of pressure, anxiety and guilt about my cookbook, the times when I have not been working hard enough or fast enough, have not achieved as much as I would like in a week, worries about whether I will be able to learn the programs for layout or whether the book will even eventually sell any copies. But this morning I have had a few moments of reflection and clarity. This project is a project rooted in passion, filled with joy for me. I have realized that I have to be careful not to cheapen this experience, not to rush, or put undue pressure but to savour each moment of this journey, to let it unfold as it will. It is a great pleasure for me to try a new recipe, modify spices in a dish, feed my guy, share the experience and the food with friends and family. Really this is my life and I have realized that I have been treating it like another job, or a task I have to complete, or something I need to hurry. But hurry for what? Of course I want to finish it but I also want to enjoy every moment of it. I will never get these moments back, these moments of discovery, of excitement, even of panic. I want to taste them, chew on the experience, suck the marrow from the bones of this adventure, so I can always remember it. I am doing this for me, first and foremost, and I want to cherish each moment of it. I am not letting myself off the hook for getting the rest of my recipes transcribed or for having to learn a tonne of new things. But I am also not going to cheapen this time or treat it as something other than a sacred gift I have been given. I truly believe these moments or adventures do not come often in our lives and I want to enjoy it all. After all, it is why I am doing it, I truly enjoy cooking, feeding my guy and of course eating! How can I not just tie a napkin around my neck, lift my knife and fork, and dig right into this excellent adventure.
Jamie that's the spirit! The most important thing is that you are having the time of your life doing what you love doing, cooking for your guy, enjoying a a lovely meal with him and trying and testing new recipes. So in the end if your book doesn't sell (which I would have a hard time believing), nothing really changes does it?? You will still always enjoy cooking and sitting down with your guy and enjoying a lovely meal that you prepared.
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