I'm in a terrible mood

Yesterday was a terrible day, today equally horrible.  I am not sure what it was but I was in a foul mood yesterday, ready to snap at anyone, unable to concentrate, spoiling for a fight.  And today I have been a similar mood, except today I just did my job, nothing more, nothing less.  I am sure it is just everything that is going on right now, what with the house closing (yeah but stressful), our trip on Saturday (yeah but not ready), the cookbook (yeah but too much work left ahead of me) and the sinking feeling that I don’t have enough hours in the day!  A common complaint but one I am feeling keenly.  And it is affecting my sleep which I am certain is not helping the situation any.  But yesterday and now again tonight, I am focusing on what I love, picking off small pieces to achieve and leaving the rest till tomorrow.  I can only get so much done and I am still loving the work for the cookbook even if it has become insanely busy, if I feel like I am overwhelmed, and despite the feeling that I may never finish.  But everything I do each day gets me closer and some day I will look back at this and wonder why it all felt so rushed and so hard.  Oh, I can’t wait for that day.  Off to be in a bad mood, transcribing emails!

Feeling good about the future

We had such a nice time yesterday.  My nephew’s second birthday was so cute.  I swear he had no idea what was going one and was just happy to run around talking to everyone.  He liked having a gift but wasn’t particularly interested in opening them, except to pull the big candy sucker off the top of one and walk around talking to it.  But he did love the books he was given, sat right down and started talking to himself as though discussing with himself the contents.  My sister told me today that he wanted them read to him over and over before bed and cried when story time was over.  I am glad he loves to read; he must take after me!  Then we stopped for dinner at my brother and sister-in laws and enjoyed a great baked brie with a glass of wine before dinner and everyone enjoyed my rhubarb cake.  It was a hit!

Today I am feeling really productive.  I have spent at least four hours today transcribing more email addresses for the press releases and I finally feel like I am making some progress.  There is nothing like watching the list grow and grow.  The problem of course is that I keep thinking up new places to search for more address or different media to expand into in the search for more contacts.  But I am trying to keep myself to my original intention and if I have time afterwards I can always add to the list. I really know now that there is a tonne of work ahead of me in the next two months but I feel more settled about attacking it.  One step at a time and I will get there.  Now I just hope I can apply the same energy to getting the inside of the book finished, especially while I am lying on a beach!  I have a good friend leaving tomorrow for Cuba for a week of sun and relaxation.  I would be jealous if we weren’t leaving for the sun in a week.  But first the house will close and we will get our keys.  Our first home together, outside of the condo, a place for us to build the next phase of our life.  Feeling pretty good about the future right now!

Rhubarb, my promise of spring

I had the most wonderful surprise this morning.  Last night my guy was watching how I transcribe the emails for my press release strategy.  I have to admit I was complaining a little bit about how boring it is, okay maybe I was complaining a lot.  The first thing he did was find an easier way to copy them over.  He will often say I am bit rammy, which is his way of saying I can be impatient and I have to admit once I saw how he was doing it, I readily could admit it was much simpler.  And then this morning I woke up to discover that he spent a couple of hours last night while I was sleeping copying more over for me.  As a consequence, I finished the United Kingdom this morning!  I have an email address for every editor at every newspaper in the United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland and England, big or small, local or national that was available on the Internet!  You should see the list.  It is a great feeling having that little bit of work done; I have the best husband in the world.  And so now this morning I can start on the United States!  I hope I have more nocturnal helpers.

I just finished making an upside down rhubarb cake to take to dinner tonight at my brother and sister-in-laws.  It smells so good baking right now.  I just love rhubarb and as I was making it this morning with chopped frozen homegrown rhubarb that I took out of the freezer, I was thinking about how many associations I have with it.  This cake I am baking is one of my favourites, moist, flavourful, with crunchy, sweet topping, great with vanilla ice cream.  My mother used to make rhubarb sauce in the spring for us, boiled down rhubarb sweetened with sugar and served in a bowl or over ice cream.  I remember pulling it my the stock from the ground and biting into that sour, stringy stalk and running to the door to plead for a small bowl of sugar to dip it into and sitting on the front stoop dipping and chewing and thinking it was the best treat.  But more than all, it is that first rhubarb pie of the spring that makes my mouth water, the tender green and pinkish rhubarb, mixed with sugar, thickening in the pie, and boiling over, dripping and hissing in the oven, the pastry flaking and browning and ending up covered in that delicious sweet sticky, almost toffee textured glaze atop the pie.  I love that first bite out of the first pie of the season, the grass still greening, the leaves just unfolding and daffodils in the garden.  It is a taste of spring, the last bite of winter, the promise of things to come.  The first pie is always the best, no matter how tasty the others that follow are.  It is always a taste of a promise fulfilled, that the snow will leave and summer is just around the doorstep.  Today’s cake is baked in hope of that first pie and the end of this snow.  Tonight eating it with family no one else will know what hopes I baked into this cake but I will know and, looking around at loved ones, I will know what I have hoped for all of them.  

Italian grilled cheese sandwiches

Wow was that ever good!  Today I had something I have never had before for lunch, mozzarella en carozza which was basically Italian grilled cheese sandwiches.  It is two thick pieces of whole wheat bread with cheese in between and then covered in “carozza” and baked or deep fried.  As far as I could determine the “carozza” is either bread crumbs or cornmeal.  Either way, they served it hot, covered it in tomato sauce and of course topped it with parmesan cheese. It was delicious and a nice change from the ordinary.  Try it if you get the chance.  Today, unfortunately, nothing new, just back at the transcribing.  I made really good progress last night finishing more than I had expected; today I start at “M”.  I am now developing a new anxiety about losing these lists; it is too much work to replace them.  This weekend will be filled with work with the fun exception of my nephew’s second birthday party on Saturday. It is always fun and a great way to spend an afternoon! I should get back to the work soon. I have made a great, first-hand discovery; when you are doing something that is your passion it doesn’t seem like work at all.  Although I find this transcribing mindless I have endless energy for it because it is something for myself, for my cookbook, something which will help make my passion come alive.  And for that I can work and work.  Apparently, all those interviews of celebrities saying their work is not work at all but play is true.  Now if only I received their salary!

A luxurious bath for me

This is perhaps the most tedious thing I have ever done.  Seriously, transcribing these emails addresses is boring, like massively boring, stupendously boring, boring like watching paint dry or grass grow, like make your teeth ache boring! But I am happy to say I am making progress.  I have found a great website that lists every newspaper that is published in the United Kingdom and has them listed by tab in alphabetical order.  I am finished up to “H”, tonight I intend to do “I” and “J”!  And the list is really coming along so all this boring effort is paying off.  Once I finish with the UK, it is on to the United States. I started mistakenly thinking that the newspapers in the UK would be easy and quick to finish; I cannot imagine what it is going to be like having to do the US.  I found a similar website which lists them in the same way so at least I know what I am getting myself into, trouble and more boring pain for sure.  But since I decided to start this journey and do it all myself, no one promised me that it would be all sunshine and roses.  I also sent an email to Lesley to tell her I haven’t forgotten about her; I still need to go through all the photos and decide which ones I need her to touch up so they are publication ready.  And now that I have started on the press release list, I have started to think of all sorts of other things to do: where can I get contact information for magazines, television programs, how to use the net better to advertise, can I get someone to have me on their show to talk about the cookbook, do I need to do email campaigns, commercials, YouTube videos?  So many things to do and frankly it is distracting me from actually putting the cookbook together.  I have told myself to work on these types of activities until Feb 11 when we leave for our vacation in the Dominican Republic.  Oh, did I remember to tell you we are going away for a week of sun, beach, all you can eat (always bad for me, since I want to put myself on a diet and in training for a charity cycling race in June for the Heart and Stroke foundation, oh more news to share) and general relaxation.  I know we are spoiled with all this travel but I am going to take a notebook so I can work on the cookbook and record my thoughts while we are away.  But between returning from the holiday and the end of the first week of March, no work on this kind of work and only focus on completely the inside of the cookbook.  Without it, all this other work is kind of pointless.  So tonight I am tackling the next two letters in the alphabet and then treating myself to a long luxurious bath and an early bed.  

Endless emails and blurry vision

Well, home from my training with more new ideas to apply to my own adventure!  Feeling pretty tired tonight and not thinking about a lot.  I think tonight I am just going to mindlessly transcribe email addresses for newspapers for my press releases.  Mindless and easy to do for an hour or so before I completely collapse in bed.  I hope you are enjoying a good television show, a delicious dinner, chats with friends or time with your guy.  For me, it is typing, typing, typing!

Haul out the snow shoes and soup ladles; the snow storm is coming

What a day.  I am just getting in from work now.  I have been in training all day off site from our office in a hotel.  More training again tomorrow.  It has been mostly interesting but I am amazed at myself sometimes.  I am sitting on an uncomfortable chair in an overheated hotel meeting room, listening to a presenter explain things to me that in any other life I would walk out of the room from boredom but instead I find myself filtering everything I hear to determine how I can use it to my advantage in getting this cookbook completed and launched.  If only work knew that their expensive training may never be used at work but may come in very handy in my personal pursuits.  Thanks very much!  Well, that and today everyone kept talking about the snow storm on its way, a “near paralyzing” snow storm, horrific, wild; I laugh at all the adjectives the news uses these days.  It is winter; it is not like snow is a surprise!  Anyway everyone was making plans on what to do tomorrow morning, how early to leave, drive or subway, should we start late.  I say let it happen and if I awake tomorrow morning and can’t open my door to go to work, well, that sounds like the perfect excuse to make a big pot of homemade soup!