What a wonderful time of year this is. Every year at Christmas, I never feel ready for it, never quite enough in the spirit, always almost there, just on the edge and then, suddenly, when Christmas Eve arrives, like the miracle that it is, I arrive in the place where I can enjoy it freely. This Christmas was no different.
This Christmas however I was struck by the number of interruptions to spirit and the number of opportunities to be thankful for the blessings we have received. Over the past few days, we have watched, experienced or heard of trials at Christmas through friends. My sister in law has recovered well from a dangerous car accident, a blessing to us all that she escaped so easily. Another sister in law dislocated her shoulder and had to have it popped back in on Christmas eve day, a jarring moment of pain amid the joy. A friend’s uncle has been diagnosed with cancer, another a burst cyst to heal, another a fire in her apartment building and a neighbour losing their life, another friend’s dear father with fears following a misdose of medication. Still another friend, her uncle wins the lottery and his life changed forever. For me, I have been quite sick over the holidays and over my birthday.
But amid it all, and in my sickness in particular, I received the joy of love. My guy, with vows fresh in ink and still being etched on his heart, took up the vow pledging love even in illness. My guy cared for me through my sweats and chills, through coughing, and running noses, endless sleeping and discomfort. When I was irritable, he was forgiving, when I was needy, he was strong, when I was unable to ask, he answered anyway. But it was when I caught him always watching me that my heart leapt. To be loved in such a deep way that you are always in their thoughts, that their first concern is for you, that they will do anything to make you well and happy that was my Christmas gift. He always makes me smile, even when I am coughing up a lung!
I enjoyed the meals of turkey, and potatoes covered in gravy, of squash, peas, carrots, corn, broccoli and cheese sauce, red cabbage, salads and rolls, and dessert tables groaning with cookies, squares and mincemeat pies, figgy pudding with rum sauce and trifles. I enjoyed family, charades, laughter, cards, new and old stories. Mostly I enjoyed my guy. In marriage I am still getting used to having him always at my side and am only now beginning to see what blessings I will receive simply by having him in my life. Today I am starting to feel much better and soon will be back to being my old self. And then I can make it up to him. But the real joy I feel is that he doesn’t expect me to make it up to him, that he would do it all over again. To be loved is a marvelous thing, and in this marriage, I will get to feel it every day.
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