Freedom to play

I have to admit I look forward to sitting down to write this blog every day.  Another admission, I sometimes worry I will have nothing interesting to say!  But I really like connecting with others about this project of mine.  I have been thinking recently that all of this, the writing of the cookbook, this blog, the plans I have for the cookbook and how to share it with other, ideas for funny commercials to put on YouTube to publicize it, this all seems like a dream. It hardly feels real to me.  I have always wanted to do something like this, take the chance and try.  But I have always had a reason not to start.  I had my studies at university, or starting my career, I had family and friends, I had my relationships.  Frankly I also had my own fears, procrastination, laziness and doubt.  But I always kept this dream alive.  And now suddenly I am doing it.  And I am not sure what has shifted.  I still have the same fears, doubts and tendency to procrastinate.  I still have family, friends, my career, regular life and celebrations.  I still have bills, worries and plans.  Honestly, I think what has changed is my guy.  Marriage has somehow given me a freedom to try something I had always wanted to do but never attempted.  I get an encouraging smile and a shoulder to unburden upon, but I never get criticism or told to stop dreaming.  I get a freedom to play and a freedom to fail.  I have already said thank you to my guy for supporting me, but honestly, I think I am doing this as much for him as for me.  For me, it is a way of saying thank you. Thank you for encouraging me to throw the dice and see where it leads.  This cookbook is becoming a crazy ride.  I have no idea where it will end up, if it will be successful, if I can learn all the things I need to in order to achieve this goal I have set for myself.  But I can now say I have started which is amazing.  And successful or not, I have given it my best.